Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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