just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
