Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize