We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I want to fling myself into the sun
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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