Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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