Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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