this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just tell him i said nine months
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
