just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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