The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
