Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
handjob tips. give me some.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
