So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
