Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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