we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
