I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh god it's open bar.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
