I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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