i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He did a backflip because drugs
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
