Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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