Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
