Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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