What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I did not marry a roomba.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize