I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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