You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
