where does the pee come out of this thing
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
