I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
