Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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