You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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