so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Go christen that room with your naked body.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
