My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why do cheetos always look like penises
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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