I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
