Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
