____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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