Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
