Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
