Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
try to milk me bitch
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
