yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
