maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
