so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
