Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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