Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
