my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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