Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
