physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
