Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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