oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
