I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
