we have officially lost it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
