So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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