i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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