I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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