He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
