Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
