I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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