the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize