i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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