ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
