There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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