spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
