Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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