it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
