I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
